


Brothers and Boyfriends

by BuzzBeaBi155



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Dark Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Drabble, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), I Don't Know Where This Is Going, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kairi & Riku & Sora Friendship (Kingdom Hearts), Keyblade Wielders (Kingdom Hearts), Larxene is a bully, M/M, Oblivious Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas and Sora Are Siblings (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas and Sora Are Twins (Kingdom Hearts), Self-Harm, Sora Is a Ray of Sunshine (Kingdom Hearts), Sora Loves Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Strangers to Lovers, Telepathy, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, i randomly wrote this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-23 09:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30053274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuzzBeaBi155/pseuds/BuzzBeaBi155
Summary: (TW; Self-harm, talk of self-harm, past abuse, trauma)Roxas and Sora always got along, they hardly left each others' sides. It would seem annoying when someone wanted to hang out with one and the other would follow but their friends got used to it, considering their bond was close because of their parents. Riku introduces Roxas to Axel as a way to get Sora alone for once at a college party.Meanwhile, Roxas and Sora hide the horrifying fact that the brunette turns dark when his anger gets the better of him.
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	1. Collage Party

**Author's Note:**

> This will touch on Sora and Roxas both. Even though I have no idea where I'm going with this series, I know that Roxas and Sora will both get their share of love because they're both my comfort characters.

Roxas couldn’t help but gape at the large mansion in front of them. The building was dark brown, a beautiful shade in the dawn. Pillars supported the roof above the porch, which had a light with little bugs attracted to it, flying around madly. The blonde heard Sora giggle in excitement, probably bouncing in place. This mansion belonged to their friend, Kairi, who decided to throw a party for her college peers and invite her best friends. The girl said it was for the end of the exams, a destresser for the college students. Roxas looked at his brothers, his head twisted each way to take in the building standing above them. The blonde shook his head at him.

“You’ll be able to come here more often,” Roxas reminded his twin. Sora looked at him, his face mixed with disappointment and the excitement still running through his brain. 

“I’m not looking forward to it, you know that.”

Since the downfall of their family, Sora and Roxas had a bond that no siblings had - at least, no bond of normal siblings. Once they were able to protect themselves with their Keyblades, they stopped the abuse their parents put them through by threatening them and walking out, Roxas was the one who dragged Sora out, impulsively. They were about fifteen at the time, the time also brought Heartless. The soulless creatures followed them around like desperate children, with all sorts of shapes, sizes, and powers but the twins never faltered. They theorized why they had existed but when they were close to being able to research them, a man in a dark coat told them not to worry anymore and disappeared, taking the Heartless with him. Sora had never seemed so stumped before, he would even get frustrated about lacking enemies to fight so they would spar to keep themselves sharp, just in case, the enemies would return. 

Afterward, in the present day, Roxas and Sora got a job at a local library. Sora stacked shelves full of books while Roxas would search for books to read or side jobs for extra money. Sora was a successful boy in high school, almost straight A’s, popular with the students and teachers while Roxas had struggled to make ends meet, losing friends left and right, grades faltering, working a part-time job to support them (when Sora was told by said twin that they were fine, financially, because Roxas didn’t want him to worry). They graduated and made a plan; although it involved being away from each other, Sora wanted to go to college to fulfill his dream of creating his own business, teach kids to fight and defend themselves, just like Roxas and he had done when they shouldn’t have needed to. The money was ready, the funds for the fees and anything extra were prepared for next year’s college class. They just had to wait. 

Neither was looking forward to it.

“Let’s blow this party up!” Sora suddenly exclaimed, running to the entrance. 

“Hey! No Keyblade, Sora!” Roxas chased his brother, hearing him groan at the restriction. 

  
  


Once inside the open-door party, the two searched for Kairi but the crowd was thick and loud, hiding any familiar faces they knew from them. Sora nudged his twin, gaining his attention.

**_Give me a boost._ **

Ah, the telepathy. They are full of surprises; Keyblade wielders, telepathy, fighting skills, what was next? Teleportation? Roxas hoped so, he hated walking to places. Since they were younger, the boys were able to speak through the mind at any distance. They don’t use it as often because they were blessed with phones and lack of Heartless but it’s a useful way to warn each other of danger in a split second.

Roxas got on one knee, waiting for Sora to sit on his shoulders before standing again, waiting for the brunette to point out their friends. After a moment or two, Roxas saw Sora’s arm stretch out above him, pointing to a corner where a fireplace burned. 

Sora hopped down and skipped away, Roxas inches behind him as he quickly followed, avoiding the crowd that his brother would push and nudge out of the way. 

The blonde felt relieved being near their friends, seeing Kairi tackle hug Sora while they laughed was an ‘every time’ thing and each time, it earns a smile from Riku. Roxas’ heart stopped being relaxed when he noticed a tall, lanky spiky-haired red-head standing beside Riku. Roxas squinted at the guy, observing him; his eyes practically glowed misty emerald green, his hands were stuffed in his jean pockets, he wore a tie-dye crop top with a hood and short sleeves, capturing his laid back personality. The thing that caught Roxas’s eye was the sword earrings on each of his ears.  _ Sword earrings? I’d die for those,  _ the blonde thought in admiration. 

“It’s so good to see you guys!” Kairi exclaimed after hugging Sora. She offered a hug to Roxas, who was more reluctant to touch. Roxas nodded, opening his arms and hugging the smaller girl tightly. 

“My bragging right for the day,” Kairi says with a soft smile after they pull away. Sora leaped at Riku, who caught him in mid-air and held him against his chest.

“No fair!” Sora yelled with a laugh, squirming against the man. Kairi walks up next to the stranger and looks at Roxas.

“This is Axel! He’s new this year, Riku thought that maybe you’d like a new friend!” Axel gave Roxas a cool smile and nod in acknowledgment. Roxas didn’t understand why Riku would think of him but maybe he has hung around Sora for too long...was this Riku’s way of pushing him away?

Roxas nodded back, looking at Riku and Sora. Riku hung the brunette upside down, letting him giggle and dodging Sora’s legs if they tried to hit his face. They’re pining for each other and it’s so obvious, it hurts. 

“I need to go check on the rest of the guests, have fun, you guys!” Kairi called to the four, jogging off. Roxas looked at Axel, who watched Riku and Sora with amusement. 

Roxas shoved his hands into his pockets looking to the floor for an escape. He was standing in front of a stranger, Kairi left, Sora is busy, and Riku is closer to his twin. 

“Hey, Roxas,” his heart swelled hearing Axel; his voice gave a chill summer vibe but somehow gentle despite how punk he seems with his earrings, tattoos, and many bracelets, “let’s get outside. I can tell this isn’t your type of scene.”

The blonde looked at Sora, giggling like a child as he finally gets away from Riku. He then looks at Axel, who is at the screen door, looking back at him. The shorter one quickly followed, deciding it was best to leave his brother alone with his best friend.

  
  


Outside, Roxas learned that Axel can manipulate fire and start it. There was a pit with benches surrounding it. The two must’ve been the only ones to notice the outside existed for now. 

“I see you eyeing my tattoos,” Axel commented, snapping Roxas out of his thoughts. The blonde looks away, shyly.

“Uh, yeah, I’ve been wanting one,” he replies.

“You’re in luck, I have a tattoo shop in the city. It’s in a sketchy alleyway behind a cafe with  _ the best  _ hot chocolate.”

“Do you need a degree to be a tattoo artist?” Roxas asked, leaning forward in his seat as he watched the fire’s light dance on Axel’s face as he smiled.

“Nah, I’m just taking some art classes to get better at it, please the clients,” Axel stood, offering his hand. Roxas stared at it like it was a foreign object.

“I’m gonna check out your arm, I can see the best places where to put the tats, got it memorized?” Axel tapped his head after explaining himself. Roxas nodded, giving the red-head his arm as the taller one sat down to roll his pale arm over, gently running a finger or two over his skin. The gentle foreign touching sent butterflies into his stomach.

“Got it. I’ve got the perfect tattoo idea for you. You just gotta agree to see me again to see it,” Axel winked, moving back to his original seat across from Roxas.

“Can I have a hint?”

“Nah.”

Roxas pouted, looking to the side. He heard Axel chuckle at him, lightly before suddenly changing the topic.

“Riku told me you and your brother can wield Keyblades? But not like him or Kairi.” Roxas could only roll his eyes; if he had a dollar for every time someone brought this up, he’d be able to put Sora in college already. 

“Yeah, ours can’t break,” the blonde confirmed, watching Axel smile.

“Wanna show off? I bet you haven’t since the Heartless disappeared.” Axel was half right; Roxas hadn’t shown off but the blonde never did, never saw the need to, and allowed Sora all the glory of being a hero to everyone. Roxas shrugged, avoiding eye contact with the taller one.

“Aw, don’t be shy! It’s just little ol’ me!” the man exclaimed, not helping Roxas’ sudden anxiety over the situation.

“As cool as you are, I hardly know you,” the blonde reminded him but it didn’t cause Axel to sputter at all at the fact.

“And I wanna get to know ya! What better way to get to know each other than jumping the gun on things?”

His logic made no sense but he was convinced. Axel wouldn’t give in until he showed him. Roxas sighed, standing up as he backed away from the fire, making sure he wouldn’t break anything. Maybe he could allow himself a second of being cocky, like Sora. Not only did Roxas have a Keyblade, but he also had two. One bore the power of his mental strength, the other had his physical strength. Roxas held one hand out, watching the glow shine in front of him before one Keyblade was in his hand. Before Axel could say anything, the blonde then summoned the other in his empty hand, spinning it up in the air, then placing it on his shoulder. Axel stared at him in awe.

“You just added a new idea for the tattoo,” this made Roxas chuckle as he watched his Keyblades sparkle away. 

“Well, I guess I’ll have to get the shop’s address. I’ll warn you though, this skin is uninked.” This earned a gasp from Axel, whose eyes looked like Sora’s when he was excited. Roxas sat back down, listening to his reply.

“I’ll be your first! It’s such an honor,” The man playfully bowed in front of him as if Roxas was a God. The blonde raised his eyebrows, finding what he said slightly innuendo. 

  
“In all seriousness,” Axel quickly began, “it’ll hurt like a bitch.”

“Yeah, I know but I’ve fought Heartless,” Roxas hummed, “some were pretty strong.”

Before Axel could reply, his eyes flickered to the screen door behind Roxas and his mood faltered. The shorter boy turned around in his seat, spotting Larxene. The girl made a name for herself; manipulated people and hurt them...The blonde had unfortunate been a victim. 

“Dammit…” Roxas mumbled, turning back to Axel.

“You know her too, huh?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Roxas! Axel! Good to see my favorite boys here together!”

The blonde forgot how much pain she threw at him in high school; she pretended to be his best friend but went around and told rumors about him. His trust in her got too deep and he opened up about...much deeper things. She twisted it into her own words and everyone went to Roxas (or bullied him) about it. Now she was here, talking to them like they were best friends again.

“Larxene, you should leave,” Axel warned, one hand was turned into a fist as if he was ready to stand up and punch her.

“Awe, why? I just wanted to say hi to you two after all these years!” So Axel was a victim too?

Roxas saw her inching forward and he rummaged for his phone but once he noticed the girl above him watching him like a hawk, he slowly put his hands together on his lap. He gulped, watching Axel’s body tense up with his.

_ Uh, hey Sora? _

Roxas watched Larxene giggling, making a comment about how nervous they looked. 

**_Roxas? Why aren’t you texting me instead?_ **

_ I can’t. Backyard, now. _

Good, he got Sora on his way. Now all he had to do was wait.

“You guys act like I killed your dogs!” Larxene laughed.

“You might as well have,” Axel growled. 

“Aw come on, are you two really hooked on the past? I’ve totally changed!”

“Likely story,” Roxas mumbled.

“HEY!”

Roxas looked at the screen door, watching his brother race up, Keyblade in hand with Riku following. Sora raised his blade to her face as Larxene could only smirk down at him. 

“Awe, you guys still use the little telepathy thing,”  _ no...don’t remember. Stop remembering things about me! _

“Shut up! Leave my brother and his friend alone!” The Keyblade Sora held got closer to her face. Riku stood beside Axel, who let out a sigh.

“This isn’t worth our time,” Riku claimed, “Larxene, you have no reason to do this, you never did.”

“Maybe not, but I have information on almost everyone with my tricks,” Roxas couldn’t listen anymore. His hands flew over his ears, blocking out the talking, blocking out the threat. 

What would she do with him? His life? She ruined his senior year, there’s no way she can ruin his adult life, right?

**_Roxas!_ **

Looking up, he saw Larxene had her knuckle weapons on, having Sora pinned down to the ground. Riku tried to coax her to calm down while Axel stood behind him, in a stance that screamed he wanted to fight. Roxas uncovered his ears but didn’t hear Riku, he only heard his pounding heart. He looked at his brother, who was patting away at the rage and darkness spreading through his body.  _ Goddammit. _

Roxas, noticing Riku was distracting the girl, summoned his weapons and threw them at her. Larxene dodged, grabbing one of the Keyblades, and pointed it at Roxas like she had won.

“Fool! All the information I have on you and you decide to attack me?” 

“Right,  _ I’m  _ the fool.” Roxas stood, holding his hand to his side and the Keyblade from her hand glowed away. Her face went dumbfounded, looking at her hand.

“I’m sorry, were you looking for this?” The blonde swayed the blade at her, mockingly, before summoning his other one and he pointed both Keyblades at her.

“Release him, don’t share lies nor my personal life, and we won’t have a problem here.”

Larxene only hummed, amused, “Damn. you finally grew balls.”

With that, she stood, not bothering to say goodbye as she waltzed away. Roxas helped his brother up (and calmed him down) before turning to Riku and Axel.

  
“Shit, dude! That was awesome!” Axel threw his hand up to Roxas...the three around Roxas noticed the aggressive flinch before suddenly recovering and high-fiving the taller one. Axel watched him try to explain that he didn’t do anything as Riku and Sora told him differently. All Axel could think was,  _ why did he flinch so hard? _


	2. Morning Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas and Sora come back home

Roxas couldn’t believe he got Axel’s number. As the party was coming to a close, Axel handed him a torn piece of paper with numbers scribbled on it after giving him his signature wink before leaving, seeming flustered, according to Sora. The blonde stared at the numbers after he got home and ready for bed, wondering if it was a prank. Sora sat next to him, occasionally trying to grab his phone so the brunette could punch in the numbers himself.

“Come on, Rox! Text him!” Sora bounced in his place, causing the bed to go crazy under them. Roxas breathed in, typing in the numbers as he added them to his contacts, naming the contact _Axel._

“ _Whaaat?_ Dude, give him a funny name as a contact!” Sora exclaimed, reaching for his brothers’ phone once more.

“What? Why?” Roxas questioned, keeping his phone away from Sora’s grabby hands. 

“Ugh! Because that’s fun! Let me,” Sora snatched his phone at last, which didn’t make Roxas retaliate, and instead, the blonde waited.

Sora giggled to himself, sounding proud as he handed the phone back to his twin. Roxas looked at the new contact name; _Axel: The Hot Guy_

“ _Sora!_ ” The brunette laughed as Roxas attacked him with a pillow, face red from associating Axel with being hot.

“Am I wrong?” Sora blocked his attacks, giggling like a child.

“Well, no but I thought you _loved_ Riku!” Roxas teased in a singing voice while putting the pillow down, watching his brother sink into Roxas’ bed at the thought of ‘Riku’.

“I do but am I not allowed to appreciate another hot guy?” Sora hid his round face in the plush bed, hiding the burning feeling on his face as Roxas re-named the contact to _Got it Memorized?_

“You’re allowed to do whatever you want,” Roxas shrugged, typing in a message, taking the fact that his brother was distracted with being flustered by advantage. Sora only whined while the blonde anxiously waited for a reply.

“I _really_ like him, Roxas,” Sora brought his head up to look at him, “but I don’t want to lose him because of a stupid crush!”

“You wouldn’t,” Roxas could only say. He wished he could tell Sora that Riku felt the same way, exactly the same words. Both boys swore Roxas to secrecy about their feelings and even if it would bring them both joy, he didn’t want to betray either.

“He wouldn’t leave you for that. Hell, remember when you broke his arm while wrestling?” Sora groaned, burying his face again.

“Don’t remind me!”

“Well, he reassured you that it wasn’t a problem, right?” 

“Right.”

Suddenly, Roxas’s phone vibrated heavily, summoning Sora’s head to pop up and stare at it.

“You messaged him?” Sora suddenly smiled, sitting back up.

“Yes. and no, you can’t text anything!” Roxas dodged Sora’s lunge at him, reading Axel’s message back.

**Roxas**

_Hey, it’s Roxas, did Axel give me the right number?_

**Got it Memorized?**

_Of course, I did, did you doubt me? ;(_

“He’s even winking over text,” Sora snorted out a laugh.

“He’s something else,” Roxas mumbled as he replied.

**Roxas**

_To be fair, I just met you tonight._

**Got it Memorized?**

_You got me there. Still want that free tattoo? My shop is open tmrw morning_

“Oh my god, Roxas! It’s a date!” Sora suddenly exclaimed, grabbing his brothers’ shoulders and shaking him in excitement. Roxas shook his head.

“It’s not, he just thinks I’m cool ‘cause I have two Keyblades,” the blonde looked at his twin and saw stars in his eyes.

“You showed him _both Keyblades?_ You’ve never done that!” Sora’s smile was a mile long from his childish excitement. Roxas bit his tongue, cursing the words that slipped from his mouth.

“W...well, he was very convincing,” Roxas turned away, typing back.

**Roxas**

_I can stop by if you want me to._

**Got it Memorized?**

_Well, I was a bit pushy tonight, but it’s a way to make it up to you! And maybe go out for some dinner one day too ;)_

“Now _that’s_ a date!” Sora yelled in his ear, giggling excitedly. Roxas hid his burning face from his twin, who yawned with his smile still on his face.

“Get to bed, dumbass,” the brother grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, hitting Sora right in the face. He laughed before getting off his bed with the pillow in hand.

“Fine, but tell me what happens in the morning!” Sora threw the pillow back.

“Tell Riku goodnight before you pass out,” Roxas reminded, catching the fluffy pillow with ease.

“Oh yeah, thanks!” Sora rushed off, pulling his phone out of his pajama pockets, texting his crush with lighting speed.

Roxas looked back at his phone; they just met and he’s asking the blonde out to a date? Would Axel even like someone like him? The blonde was - how does he say this gently? - broken. Broken childhood, broken heart, and traumatized. Would axel be willing to learn about him and stay? No one except Sora, Kairi, and Riku have stayed before, only a few small friends from high-school text him occasionally but not every day. Before putting his head on his pillow to sleep, he replied, 

**Roxas**

_I mean, if you can deal with me, then sure, dinner sounds great :)_

  
  
  


“Riku!” The brunette shouted into the phone the next morning after Roxas retreated to his room to get changed.

“Sora? Why are you so loud already?” The boy on the other side asked, his voice deep with tiredness.

“Sorry, but you’ll never believe this!” 

“Did you finally do a cartwheel?”

“Wha- HEY!” The taller one on the phone let out a deep laugh, causing Sora’s face to burn. He loved that laugh with every fiber of his being.

“Anyways, what happened?” Riku asked.

“Roxas is going on two dates!”

“It’s only ONE!” Roxas yelled from his room, making Sora laugh.

“Wait, you’re being for real? You’re right, I don’t believe it,” Riku chuckled on the phone, “who is it?”

“Axel, from last night!” Riku went silent for a moment as if contemplating. As Sora was about to ask what happened, the other replied.

“Huh, never thought Roxas would like someone like Axel.”

“Huh? Really?” Sora hushed his voice, looking at Roxas’ bedroom door to make sure his twin wouldn’t walk out yet.

“Well, Axel is an up and personal guy, he’s loud and out there, unlike Roxas, obviously,” Riku mumbled slightly as if thinking his words through to make sure they were right. Sora nodded before realizing that Riku can’t hear his head.

“Right,” his brother had the worse of it. So many friends left and neither of them knows why (mostly) but…

“Well,” Sora began, “somehow, they clicked, you know? Like, Roxas would be distant from other people quickly but somehow, Axel did or said something that makes Roxas comfortable to an extent.”

“Good point. Wonder if Axel knows what he did,” Riku replied.

“Hey! They’re like us!” 

“‘Like us’?” Riku repeated back, confused.

“You’re more reserved, stoic, and hardcore while I’m all up in your face all the time!” Sora stood proud at his statement, the pride in his voice got to Riku and he laughed in response.

“Well, we’re not going on dates,” Riku pointed out. Before Sora could process what he said, still deep in his pride, he replies,

“Not yet!”

Silence.

Burning silence that makes Sora realize what he just said. His heart sinks into his stomach, he felt as though he may throw it up. He panicked. Sora felt childish, as he always is but this time it may have costed him. Before he could sputter a word of apology, Riku suddenly chuckles, heartedly.

“Yeah, not yet,” _What did that mean?!_

Sora’s face burned as his heart returned to its place in his chest. The brunette let out a nervous laugh as he watched Roxas walk out of his room in a navy hoodie and jeans.

“Oh! Rox came back out, I’ll call you after work!” Sora rushed, trying to hide his face from his brother but he knew nothing got past him.

“Right, don’t break anything.”

“You are so mean today,” Sora deadpanned and all Riku could do on the other side was laugh. Riku hung up first, as always.

Sora faced his brother again, who had his arms crossed as he stared at him, ready for his melt-down but all the brunette could feel was relief. 

“I thought I did something stupid but,” Sora paused, gulping, “I didn’t.”

“That’d be the first,” Roxas smirked.

“You and Riku are bullying me and it’s only ten in the morning!” Sora groaned, pocketing his phone.

“Speaking of which,” Roxas hummed, “you’re sure you can take care of the library yourself?”

“Yup! Don’t worry about it, Rox!” 

Roxas and Sora owned a library. This may be a shocker but Roxas was a big bookworm, books were his favorite thing next to his brother. The manager from before lost his mind because the building was going down in flames; financial issues, trash everywhere, it was a wreck but Roxas and Sora were able to clean it up and restore it into a library. Most of their savings were put into buying new books and furniture but in the end, the money they get from there and any other side jobs has almost gotten Sora into college. One more year…

“I’m not sure how long it’ll take, I’ll let you know,” Roxas tapped his temple, signaling that Sora will be hearing from the blonde in his head instead of text. The brothers waved goodbye as Sora left for the library and Roxas headed to the address Axel gave him.


	3. Tattoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas goes to the address Axel gave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW; SELF-HARM TALK!

Axel was one sketchy tattoo artist owner; the store was tucked in an alleyway, trashed with dumpers, paper, and probable drugs in bags. The boy slowly opens the door, peeking in, and hoped this was the right place. Right at the entrance, Axel talked to a dark tall blonde, his hair going all types of ways. Roxas recognized him from the underground band posters he’d see around the city. Axel laughed at a joke he cracked; the red-head wore a Slipknot T-shirt, its sleeves were missing and showed off the tattoo-covered arms he noticed a bit at the party but only completely saw them right now. Roxas couldn’t see the rest of him. The blonde sighed to himself and he entered, gaining their attention.

“Roxas!” Axel exclaimed with a smile. Roxas gave a wave before being tackled by the dark blonde, the impact almost took him to the floor.

“Bro! I saw you at the party! It was hella awesome of you, Axel told me everything!” Roxas felt his tight hug grip turning into pins and needles stabbing into his skin. This guy was going to choke him out, wasn’t he? Was he in danger right now? He probably is-!

“Demyx! Get off him, dude, he’s not a hugger,” Axel scolded, pulling his friend off of Roxas in a flash while the look in his eyes screamed terror.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, man!” the dark blonde - Demyx - threw his hands in the air. Roxas could only stare up at him, trying to hold in the shuddering in his body wanting to escape. He knew exactly why he was terrified but he scolded himself anyways. 

“Dem, get my shit ready,” the spikey red-head pointed to a room behind the desk he was previously sitting at. Demyx, knowing he did something wrong, only nodded and trotted away without complaint.

“Sorry, Roxas, he’s easily excited,” The taller looked down at him, apologetically.

“Listen, man, Riku told me about your parents.”

“He  _ what? _ ” No, not already! That was Roxas’ thing! Quickly, Axel corrected his wording.

“He didn’t go into detail! I asked why you flinched so hard at the party and he only said that…” his misty green eyes couldn’t look at Roxas as he stopped speaking, allowing Roxas to fill in the blanks because Axel seemed like he couldn’t.

“Just know that you don’t need to haul off and kill ‘em, he didn’t get into detail.”

Roxas sighed in relief. Of course, he still wanted to be the one that told Axel his parents laid hands on him...often but as long as he doesn’t know the rest yet, he felt safe for now. He nodded in understanding.

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you instead, I thought it was insensitive,” Axel turned his head away completely as if avoiding whatever wrath Roxas had for him - though, the blonde understood. 

“Axel, it’s okay,” the college student looked at him at last with a smile, “just don’t go spreading my shit.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t do that! If it slips, you’re allowed to hit me in the head with that Oblivion Keyblade ya got!”

“You bet your ass I will.”

They both laugh, Axel was louder as Demyx rushes back, holding a piece of paper in awe.

“Bro! Is this for Rox?” the dense boy showed Axel the paper, which made the other smile and grab it with a nod while Roxas cringed at being called ‘Rox’ by a stranger.

“You can totally deny this, dude,” Axel spoke to Roxas, “since it’s your first and I went big.” 

The boy handed Roxas the paper, which took the blonde a second to process what was in front of him; his Keyblades in fascinating detail in an X formation, there was some coloring behind it to create the illusion that the picture was flowing and alive, beautiful colors of blue, pink, violet, and white. Axel watched Roxas’s in awe face staring at the drawing.

“This is amazing,” Roxas breathed out, at last, hearing Axel’s sigh of relief after his opinion.

“You’re sure it’s something you want off the bat?” Axel asked, causing Roxas’s heart to flutter and admire how he’s worried about hurting him.

“Axel, I fought Heartless, those things came in all kinds of sizes and with large weapons sometimes, I think I can handle a bit of needle pain,” This caused Demyx to laugh and Axel to smile.

“Alright, badass, if you say so. Dem, show him my chair,” The dark blonde soluted with a childish smile - one Sora would sport - and led and excited Roxas.

  
  
  


Meanwhile, Sora was hiding from college guys in his library. He could only guys they were there to taunt Roxas but since the twin was nowhere to be seen, the brunette was next...and of course, Sora left his phone at the main counter at the entrance. The brunette peeked out from a bookcase, seeing the boys groaning in frustration. 

“It’s no fun, the blonde at least responds to us! This one runs!” One complained while the one beside him nodded. Their leader agreed but didn’t budge.

“They’re so full of light, it’s funny,” his voice was shockingly deep for a college kid.

“Do we really have to talk about that? It’s just funny to watch them squirm.”

“Once Xenmas is ready, we won’t have to resort to chasing and instead, to our weapons.”

_ What? _

“Xigbar, isn’t it a bit much?” one of them asked as they began walking out, their voices fading with them. Before Sora could think on it more, a voice in his head scared the heart out of him,

_ Holy shit, Sora, getting a tattoo HURTS. _

Sora quickly recovered, retreating to his counter as he replied.

**_Did you think it wouldn’t?_ **

_ Not at much as getting stabbed by a Heartless with a sword for a hand! OW- _

**_Do you need me there?_ **

Silence for a moment.

_...It’d be nice but the library… _

**_Well, since exams are over, not many people have come in unless it was to check out a book. No one’s here, I’m on my way._ **

_ God, thank you.  _

Sora quickly checked every corner of the library before closing it for the afternoon to support his brother, who gave him the address.

  
  


“Dude, are you sure you don’t a break?” Axel asked, slowing down.

“N...Nah, I’m fine,”  _ holy shit, the tough guy acts hurts. _

“Oh, uh, Sora might be on his way, is that,” Roxas paused, ignoring the seething pain in his arm as Axel started to color the splash of colors, “is that okay?”

“Probably for the best since you won’t take a break,” Axel offered a playful smirk. Roxas could only waver a smile back, watching the needle leave the blue around the Keyblades.

“Bro, I think it’s better to look away and think of something else,” Demyx suggested. Roxas swiftly turned his head, looking for anything in the room to be a distraction. 

**_Is it in a shady-looking alleyway?_ **

_ Yep. _

He heard Demyx stand off the chair to go greet Sora, who had just walked in, explained his situation, and the two came walking back to the room.

“Awe, Rox, you got even paler!” Sora teased, gaining a small chuckle out of Roxas.

“You’re lucky I can’t do anything.”

“You’re free to have a break-” Axel began, seemingly more focused on the coloring than stopping.

“Nope.”

Sora watched his brother stare at the ceiling, occasionally gritting his teeth as he pushed himself into the chair he was sitting on. The brunette grabbed his other brothers’ hand and Roxas’ pale hand gripped his with a deathly grip. 

“Those guys came back to the library,” Sora mumbled. He didn’t really want to stress his brother but it’s all he can talk about.

“Shit...did they h...hurt you?” Roxas asked, hissing in pain. Axel seemed to notice the blonde was slipping from his tough-guy act as Demyx listened.

“Nah, they chased me around a bit, then talked about Xemnas? Darkness and Light?” Sora tried to remember.

“Ha! Xigbar and his group of weirdos!” Demyx suddenly boasted with a laugh before looking at the twins.

“Don’t worry about them, they’re all bark and no bite!” Axel could be heard humming in agreement. Roxas looked at the artist, realizing how focused he was…

_ God,  _ he thought,  _ he looks so attractive right now.  _

**_I’m going to believe you didn’t mean for me to hear that._ **

Roxas’s head whipped to look at his twin, who was stifling a laugh behind his hand. The blonde scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

“Let’s hang out on top of the clocktower after this!” Demyx suddenly exclaimed.

“I have evening classes, Dem,” Axel shot down, causing the dark blonde to pout by hunching his shoulder over, sticking his bottom lip out, and groaning.

“Clocktower?” Roxas questioned to ignore the searing pain. He saw Demyx perk up with an excited smile.

“Ax and I go there after grabbing some Seasalt icecream! Best place to hang and bullshit,” he explained.

“Seasalt icecream?” Sora asked, his face cringing at the thought of it.

“Oh, it’s so good,” Axel smiled, not looking up as he spoke, “it’s not all salt.”

“The name is off-putting,” Roxas mumbled, closing his eyes for a moment to grit the pain away.

  
  


The blonde lost track of how much time passed, ignoring the pain while Sora and Demyx spoke loudly until the needle left his arm. He expected the wipe that Axel would occasionally do but it never went back. Instead, his arm beat in pain along with his heart. 

“It’s done!” Sora was the first to shove Roxas to the back of the chair, looking at the tattoo on Roxas’s right arm. 

“Holy crap! That looks so cool, Axel!” The red-head cleaned off his equipment with a smile.

“The next ones aren’t free, sorry, dude,” the taller said to the brother.

“I don’t even deserve this for free,” Roxas mumbled, staring at the work on his arm after Sora moved off of him. He didn’t know why but part of him wanted to cry.

“I owe you one, Axel,” Roxas added quickly swallowing the lump in his throat away, “anything you want, name it.”

Axel turned around after cleaning off, his angular face in thought before he smirked.

“So about that dinner…”

  
  


“Bro! You’ve known this guy for under a whole ass day and you asked him out!?” Demyx shouted in Axel’s ear as he was grabbing his art bag, stuffing his phone and dorm keys in. He saw Sora and Roxas leave three hours ago and Demyx had classes soon, along with Axel. Of course, the red-head told Roxas the healing process and gave him the medicine for the healing. 

“I could  _ never  _ get someone that fast!” 

“It was actually an accident,” Axel admitted, “I mean, I feel like we clicked super well last night...am I rushing this?”

“I mean, who knows?” Demyx popped a piece of spearmint gum into his mouth.

“You could know someone your entire life and they don’t treat you like the person you met a week ago.”

“You give pretty good advice for a dumbass,” Axel joked, gaining an offended gasp from the other as they walked out.

“Remind me never to give you advice again.”

  
  
  


Roxas laid on his bed, staring at his new tattoo as he ran his fingers across it with the medicine to keep it moist. He could probably reach through his skin and grab the blades but after a while of staring, he had to remember they were fake...and on his other arm…

Mistakes.

Taunting him of the past were his scars he did to himself. He knew what he was doing by wearing that hoodie today.

That, Axel,  _ can NEVER know. _

He’d look pathetic and weak, giving in to his pain and trauma that haunted him, even when he was almost a year sober.

“Rox! I got dinner!” The blonde sat up, shaking the thoughts from his head as he put on a shirt, hopping off his bed, and heading to the living room of their apartment. Once walking out, he noticed Riku with Sora, who was holding Subway bags.

“Oh, sorry, I meant to tell you Riku was coming over for dinner!” Sora frowned, realizing his mistake.

Not a big mistake, all of them never were, never were big enough for the punches his mother threw at the poor boy-

_ What’s going on with me? _

“Sora, it’s not a problem,” Roxas gave a knowing nod to Riku, who nodded back. The three sat down at the table in their kitchen, eating away at their sandwiches.

“Oh yeah, Roxas,” Riku swallowed his food, “show me that tattoo.” 

The blonde switched to holding his food in his left hand, plopping his right arm in front of Riku. The taller one looked from a distance, occasionally stretching his head to look at the flow of the colors around his arm. 

“I knew he drew good but damn, that’s awesome,” Riku smiled a bit.

“He drew it personally for Roxas!” Sora informed, causing Riku to hum, knowingly.

“Oh yeah, Riku,” the blonde looked at the taller one in a sudden grave look, “I know he asked, but you don’t need to go around telling strangers about our parents.”

“I’m sorry, he seemed super worried about making you flinch. I wanted to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault.”

“Why would he blame himself?” Sora turned the conversation around, avoiding any conflict between his brother and crush. 

“His parents went abroad so he had to live with his grandparents and they blamed everything on him,” Riku smacked his hand over his mouth, cringing at himself.

“Huh, so it’s not just our business you’ll hand out.”

“Roxas, enough.” Sora gave a begging look.

“I don’t mean it that way,” the blue-haired boy spoke calmly, “I don’t mean malice behind it. I only say what needs explaining.”

Roxas grumbled, understanding what he was saying at last.

“Sorry,” Roxas looked down at the food in his hand.

“I understand the frustration,” Riku replied, “It’s alright.”

“So professional,” Sora snorted out a goofy laugh.

“And so childish,” the taller one joked as Roxas looked at them, seeing the looks in their eyes; the twinkle, the spark of soul connection they had. God, he was so jealous of that look. He wanted to be looked at that way, he wanted to be loved by someone who wasn’t family. Sora was great but Roxas wanted that experience…

“Well,” the twin stood, wrapping up his food and tossing it in the fridge for tomorrow’s lunch, “I’m going to bed.”

“Rox,” Sora stood, looking at his brother with worry, “Are...are you okay?”

He wasn’t...he wasn’t and he didn’t know why. He shook his head, slowly.

“Sleep in my room, I’ll be in soon, okay?” 

As weird as it sounded, it’s what would happen; Roxas’s moods would hit and once Sora found out he was hurting himself, he’d make his brother come to his room and they’d sleep beside each other. Roxas stopped hurting himself after awhile of the routine and Sora could keep an eye on him. It doesn’t happen as often now but occasionally, there will be those days.

Once Roxas disappeared into his brothers’ room, Sora sat back down, looking at Riku.

“Sorry.”

“It’s no problem, really, but…” Riku looked away. Sora knew he was reading Roxas like an open book; the taller one was taking psychology, aiming to be a counselor of some kind.

“Diagnose him, Doctor Riku,” Sora gave a playful smile, leaning forward to take in Riku’s words once they began;

“As bad as this sounds, Roxas might have depression. Between protecting you for years and now, the mental exhaustion might hit him sometimes because of the years of having to be an adult for you when your parents weren’t.”

That did sound bad.

Sora knew Roxas had treated him like a precious item to protect, he wasn’t dumb. Hiding the financial issues back in high-school, hiding his struggles from the brunette until Sora walked in on him...he understood but at the same time, he couldn’t.

“As personal as it sounds,” Sora mumbled, looking down, “is hurting himself a sign?”

Riku went silent, staring at his best friend in shock, “...hurting himself with what?”

“He hasn’t done it in almost a year but,” he gulped, “razor blades?”

“Sora, he needs a therapist.”

“But he seems better!” Sora’s blue eyes pleaded, looking up at Riku.

“He’s not doing it because you’re catching it, Sora,” Riku took his shaky hands - although he didn’t realize they were shaking until now - “that’s the only thing stopping him. He could get the want any time, nothing would stop him from going over the edge.”

“We don’t have the extra money...unless…” His dream. Sora’s lifelong dream that he and Roxas aimed to reach was in their grip but what of his brother when he went away? Roxas fought for him for years; for his laughs, his happiness, his satisfaction while the twin buried himself in work. Roxas fought for Sora...so maybe, for once, Sora should fight for Roxas.

**Author's Note:**

> As of 3/15/21, Chapter 1 was rewritten due to the first published being sloppy because I wrote it on a school night. The lesson here, kids; don't write on a school night.  
> (*Sweats in 'writing on a school night 24/7'*)


End file.
